Several years ago I sat on a plane in front of a large family on their way to Disneyland for a week. The mother of many was frantically racing up and down the aisle of the plane addressing the needs of each of her children. She was calm, patient, and organized, but she never sat down once. I was alone on this particular trip and I sat quietly reading my magazine as I watched her move about the cabin of the plane. I recognized the pace at which she ran because it’s the speed I run on at home. She looked exhausted as we hit the ground in Los Angeles, but she cheerfully pronounced to her children, “This is going to be so fun now that we’re on vacation!”

I wanted to pull her aside with my “mommy dictionary” and explain to her that when you go somewhere with children it’s called a “trip.” A “vacation” is a trip without children. I’m a huge fan of taking trips with the kids. We have a wonderful time and create lots of great memories. But taking a trip and calling it a vacation is fatal to your sanity and possibly to your marriage. My husband and I have made it our top priority to get away alone at least annually.

Ever heard the common saying, “I need a vacation from my vacation.” I easily recognize it because I’m guilty of uttering these words myself. Several years ago when we were just “2 Girls And a Pug,” I had a genius idea that we would drive up the coast of California and camp at a different state park each night. Camping and kids was my first problem. Add in the stress of staying in a different place every night, and you have a recipe for a woman gone bonkers. My poor husband. It was a very long week. I think when I fantasized about this trip in the weeks leading up to it, I pictured us around the campfire eating marshmallows while breathing in the ocean air. I think we went to bed one night before it was even dark because we were cold and exhausted.

At times we’ve had to beg, borrow, and steal to get time away, but we’ve learned that it’s a needed part of defining ourselves as a couple. It doesn’t have to cost us a fortune, either. We’ve stayed at a hotel down the street from our house when we weren’t able to travel far from our children, and more recently, we crossed the Atlantic for the first time together and spent a week in London.

Here’s how I recommend you beg, borrow or steal to get outta town for a weekend (or longer, depending on how good you are at begging, borrowing, and stealing!).

1.    Beg. It hasn’t been to hard to beg my mother to watch my children over the years. We’ve been lucky that her schedule and health have allowed it. I think she secretly enjoys her alone time with the kids because I’m not there to ask her not to spoil them. It never hurts to ask grandma and grandpa if they’re interested. You might be surprised that they jump at the chance for some solo bonding time.

2.    Borrow. Your friends are as desperate to get away as you are, and if they don’t have grandparents to rely on, they may be up for striking a deal. My kids love to spend a long weekend with their “cousins” and we have a lot of fun doing paybacks and spoiling our friends’ kids for a weekend.

3.    Steal.There’s time for anything if you make the time for it. There’s always time for ballet lessons, piano recitals, and school fundraisers because they get put on the calendar. Stealing some time for your relationship shouldn’t be a crime punishable by guilt. Besides, putting it on the calendar is the first step to making it a reality.