All of that sneaky and deceptive behavior from my adolescence did eventually catch up with me (the way my Dad said it would) and I think it’s actually helping me to be a better mom.
For example, on a recent trip to Wal-Mart I found several great stocking stuffers – but my four-year-old saw the same great items on the shelf and started showering me with a flood of “I wants” before I could sneak them into my cart.
I never dreamed all of those days of sneaking out and cutting school would come in handy later in life. Here’s how I used those manipulative skills from my youth to pull off my great deceptive plan.
1. Distract.
THEN: This came in handy as a teenager when I was about to be lectured for something I’d done wrong. To avoid punishment, I bring to light something else my siblings had done (or in some cases had not done) and I would point it out. For example, before answering my parent’s inquiry of “Why are you late getting home?” I’d reply with, “Did you know that package you were waiting for was on the porch when I came in?”
NOW: Once my daughter saw the adorable watches on the shelf (which I intended to buy as stocking stuffers) she had to have them. Out of the corner of my eye I spied pretend jewelry and said, “But ooh…look at those pretty necklaces over there.” While she was looking at the plastic beaded beauties I stowed the three watches underneath the piles of other less interesting items already occupying the cart.
2. Divert.
THEN: Right before my parents would enter my messy room (which I’d been sent to clean an hour earlier and was distracted by sorting my CD collection) I’d hear them coming and race out to the laundry room to look busy. My mom would be so distracted by the sight of me starting a load of laundry that she’d never even peek inside my room to see that I’d made no progress. (I think my kids do this to me now. And I fall for it.)
NOW: As we approached the black conveyor belts I knew I needed a way to keep my daughter from peering over the edge of the counter at the items rolling towards the checkout lady’s hands. Even hiding them underneath other items would no longer be sufficient because each item would be lifted up and scanned. What could I do to divert her attention? I turned her attention to the soda display full of different types of 20-ounce beverages. While she was counting and sorting the different colors she never noticed the watches gliding on by behind her.
3. Run a screen.
THEN: In basketball, a screen is when someone else blocks another person to allow a basket to be made. As a teenager, I used a screen (with the help of my siblings) to lure Mom and Dad to a different part of the house so I could _____________ (fill in the blank with something off limits.) My mom reads this guys, I can’t exactly out myself now…
NOW: Once my daughter was busy sorting orange soda from Sprite I whispered to the Wal-mart checker that the watches were from Santa. She winked at me and assisted me in sly and sneaky screen. She even double-bagged those items so little eyes and hands would have double the barrier for snooping after we left the store.
Question: What sneaky things have you done to keep your kids from snooping around or discovering what Santa has bought for them?


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