We were having issues in our house with our kids picking up after themselves and following through on what they were asked to do. At the end of my rope, I reached for the chips. Not the salty kind that take years off your life, but the thin, plastic kind that save my sanity because they get my kids moving faster than you can say “hot potato.”

Seriously, we’ve all been there: tired and worn out from the constant nagging and then partially losing our minds because we feel like our voice is at an octave than only dogs can hear (except for our own dogs). Or maybe it’s bedtime and you’ve tried every “Super Nanny” technique you can imagine, but the kids still won’t go to bed and stay in bed.

In my exhausted and exasperated state I remembered an incentive program a dear friend of mine used with her kids. I thought I’d give it a try, and I can now report after a month of doing the “chips” program that I am one happy momma.

Here’s how it works:

We bought a package of poker chips from the drug store for $3. We have three daughters so it was easy to assign each girl a color. We did red, white and blue in corresponding birth order so it would be easy to remember. If you have more kids you may need to write their initials on them with a Sharpie pen.

Next we decided to dole out so many chips each day in areas that we were struggling with. For example, our girls can earn chips for cleaning up (after themselves and during our 10 minutes of cleanup at the end of the day), obedience (no talking back, doing things when asked, etc), and contributing in a positive way to the family (i.e. doing nice things for one another without being asked and generally not being a pill).

I also decided to assign them one extra “challenge chip” for an area that they were working hard to improve in. I let them make suggestions on what this challenge might be, and they actually hit the bull’s eye and chose exactly the same things I would have chosen. It helps that they bought into the idea and they were able to identify their own weaknesses. (Phew! We’re finally progressing.)

Next is the part the kids will love: cashing in their chips. The way we structured it was that each chip generally has the value of five minutes of computer time, playing on the Wii, talking on the phone, watching TV, etc. They can also cash in 5 chips for extra dessert or 7 chips for a playdate with a friend. We let the kids decide what fun things they’d like to do in their spare time and then we assigned a chip value for it.

During the day we “catch them doing good things” and give them extra chips and we take chips away if behavior tips the scales on the other end. At the end of our bedtime routine we spend 5 minutes and have the kids evaluate how they’ve done with earning their chips and then we decide together if they earned it or how they can improve and earn it tomorrow.

I think this program is great because it not only motivates kids to do the right things, but it gives us opportunities to reward them in a positive way. It also gives an instant way to punish them for bad behavior even if we’re at the store, in the middle of dinner, or out of energy to dive into a big flare up. It also helps them manage their money. I’ve seen them counting up the chips in the bank and then budgeting out their chips based on how they’d like to spend them.

Here’s the proof that the program works. This week my daughter was begging me to find ways she could help around the house. My four-year-old who has been known to hold marathon crying sessions at cleanup time sucked up her tears and put away her dollhouse toys in less than 5 minutes. I’ve even seen my children go out of their way to do nice things for one another multiple times in the past month.

I think this program works for kids of all ages –including teenagers. Give it a try and then report back on how it’s going for you. I’d love to hear success stories.

Question: How do you motivate and reward your children?