I remember reviewing the plans for our house during the building phase and seeing a room marked, “Master Suite.” At the time we were living in a small, two-bedroom A-frame house in which two of our kids were smashed into one room and our almost three-month-old daughter slept so close to me in her bassinet that I could hear every movement of her chubby legs and arms. We loved our cozy, beach bungalow but we had clearly outgrown it.

In our new home, I’d imagined the master bedroom having a really great chaise lounge in a soft micro-suede to lounge on while I read a book. Or I thought maybe I’d indulge in a furry throw rug that I could admire at the foot of my California King-sized bed. Or better yet, I’d buy rich, 1,200-count, all-white bedding I could pull up over me while I sat and ate bon-bons and watched reality TV while my kids were at school.

So, of course, none of that happened. In fact, I ended up moving my office into my bedroom and nearly had a meltdown over mixing my relaxing retreat space with my hectic-work-from-home-life. Not to mention the fact that nearly every day of my adult life (as a parent) I’ve turned down my bed to find a Happy Meal toy, Webkinz, or a half-eaten piece of smuggled dessert under my pillow (I’m sure this was left behind by one of the kids and forgotten. I stash my junk food in much better spots. C’mon people…you know I’m smarter than that.).

In our dreams our bedrooms are a sanctuary, a place of peace, and a quiet place to call our own. Here’s how I recommend you begin today to reclaim your adult territory.

1. Remove all items that belong to children – i.e. their clothes, toys, shoes (or at my house –shoe. They are always solo. How on earth do we ever leave the house?)

2. Set some ground rules. I figure my kids stake their claim on my house, marking their terrain with every sticky finger print, so I can shut them out (or at least die trying) of my bedroom.

3. Listen to your mother. Make your bed – every day. I know it seems simple, but it has a big impact, because your bed is the focal point of the room and it has to look amazing.

4. Invest in yourself. I’ve heard parents say that their kids have nicer bedrooms than they do. I’m all for sacrificing for kids, but if your kids are anything like mine, they don’t appreciate their Pottery Barn accessories and don’t take care of them. Sacrifice for them in areas they actually care about and indulge in yourself in areas you can enjoy.

Buy the extra-thread-count sheets and the luxurious duvet cover. It does make a difference and you can tell a difference. I promise. It’s worth it. It’s a daily indulgence at the end of a long day. Can’t afford to splurge? Put it on your birthday, anniversary or Christmas wish list.

5. Kill the clutter. Nothing’s a better mood killer than junk everywhere. Why is it that mom’s room becomes a dumping ground for random stuff? Don’t fall into this temptation because clutter grows – exponentially.

Need help keeping surfaces clean? Put a few framed photos on your dresser, or a plant or clock on your nightstand to remind yourself and your family that a clean surface means it’s not a junk loading zone. If there’s something there already then they’re less likely to unload their pockets there.

6. Make it special. I think a master suite deserves a few other special accessories you wouldn’t find in your kids room or spare bedroom. An adult space deserves a few romantic details. Personalize the room to your tastes and comforts.