I really hate buying toilet paper. It really is throwing money down the toilet. I’m actually a toilet paper snob. I have a thing about buying the best, softest brand. Who doesn’t like pillows of softness, quilted tissue, and double-layers? C’mon—you’re lying if you say you can’t tell a difference between the types of toilet paper. If the toilet paper companies don’t hook you with all of the “pillow” talk in their commercials then surely they get you with images of cute puppies. What puppies have to do with toilet paper is beyond me, but I’m sold on buying name brands. 

Unfortunately, buying name brands also means I’m shelling out the big bucks for something that is used once and is literally flushed down the toilet. (Thank goodness it can’t be recycled.) Have you ever tried to comparison shop the different brands of toilet paper? As I once stood amongst the sea of hygiene tissue in the grocery store and tried to compare costs, I ended up having more questions than answers.

Is it really cheaper to use the least expensive brands if you end up using more toilet paper anyways? How do you factor in the kid cost? They waste toilet paper like it grows on trees. (Oh wait, it does. But it’s still not cool to waste it.) Maybe I should buy the good stuff for my bathroom and buy the cheap-o packages for the kids’ bathroom.

I’ve also noticed that these rolls of goodness seem no never really go on sale. Sure, toilet paper might run 50 cents cheaper than it did the week before, or you can find a 25-cents-off coupon, but really there’s no way to cut costs on toilet paper – an essential for all families. It’s unavoidable. They should add it to the list: death, taxes, and toilet paper.

And the brands try to trick you with the numbers too. There’s square feet and number of squares. And there’s one-ply and two-ply. How on earth can anyone figure out this confusing mess?

(Sidenote: I’m the lamest person on the planet for admitting to all of this, but I know I’m not alone in the confusion. When did toilet paper get complicated? Oh, I remember. The day I had three potty-trained daughters. We consume far more toilet paper than the average household, I’m sure. Since I can’t seem to reduce our usage of the stuff, I figure I might be able to save on costs. Hence my crazy thoughts on TP.)

So, I called one of my smartest friends who loves me despite my absurd questions and I asked her to help me figure out which toilet paper is really the cheapest. Here’s the chart with her results.

Store	Brand	Price	# Rolls per Package	# Sheets per Roll	# Sheets per Package	Price per Roll	Price per Sheet
Costco	Charmin	$18.99	30	250	7500	63.3 cents	0.253 cents
Costco	Charmin with $2 Costco Coupon	$16.99	30	250	7500	56.6 cents	0.227 cents
Costco	Kirkland	$17.99	36	425	15300	49.9 cents	0.118 cents
Big Lots	Charmin	$15.50	30	200	6000	51.7 cents	0.258 cents
Big Lots	Big Lots	$5.00	12	300	3600	41.7 cents	0.139 cents
Vons	Charmin	$15.99	24	200	4800	66.6 cents	0. 333 cents
Vons	Charmin on Sale	$5.99	12	176	2112	50.0 cents	0.284 cents
Vons	Charmin on Sale with Coupon	$5.49	12	176	2112	45.8 cents	0.260 cents
Vons	Safeway (One Ply)	$7.99	12	1000	12000	66.6 cents	0.067 cents
Vons	Safeway Softy	$5.99	12	300	3600	49.9 cents	.166 cents
Vons	Safeway Softy with Vons Coupon	$4.99	12	300	3600	41.6 cents	.139 cents

 

Things to Note:

• The Costco Kirkland Brand comes in the largest size package, if you are going for quantity
• The Big Lots Brand and the Safeway Softy are tied for the smallest package, so you would have to buy more packages
• The cheapest per roll is the Safeway Softy, followed closely by the Big Lots brand
• The most expensive per roll was a tie between the Vons Charmin (at regular price) and the Vons Safeway
• The Charmin brand was cheapest per sheet at Costco
• The Charmin brand was most expensive per sheet at Vons
• With a Costco coupon you save 6 ½ cents per roll on the Charmin
• The most expensive per sheet was the Vons Charmin at regular price
• The cheapest toilet paper per sheet was the Safeway Brand, however it is the only brand that is one-ply
• The second cheapest toilet paper per sheet was the Costco Kirkland brand
• All prices were taken the same weekend